In the last article we started speaking about the three major types of fear we are all experiencing on some level now that the world is changing so dramatically right in front of us. We are living in a part of history which will change us forever, and we are not sure how to deal with it. We spoke about the first type of fear we are all experiencing: the fear of loss. This article deals with "Process Pain" and "Outcome Pain".
“Process Pain” is another way of saying "hardship". We fear the difficulties of the emotions we might feel, but also the difficulties of our capabilities. The “I don’t know if I am capable and strong enough to deal with this” type thinking.
Even in these difficult times we must learn to honour the struggle instead of fearing it. Take the struggle which is in front of all of us now. Don’t hate it, and don’t complain about it, but rather honour it as something which is true; something which is real right now. This is something we can all engage in an honourable fashion, and it is something which can make us all wiser and stronger, or it can end up making us weaker. Right now, many people are really afraid of the possible hardships ahead. Once again, if we look at this reasonably, we have all dealt with hardships before and survived.
Just take the Coronavirus as an example. I am by no means attempting to minimise the devastating impact that the Coronavirus is having on the world, but the facts point out that you are much more likely to get the seasonal flu than you are to get the coronavirus. Just follow the recommendations and your chances of never even getting it are very good. In most instances, it is not the actual event we fear, but rather the possibility of it. And then we go and make it many times bigger in our minds which leads to this process fear.
When we have fear of process pain, it is because we do not think we can emotionally handle this situation. Keep some perspective. Whatever the situation you are currently in, you probably have managed to handle something similar in the past. Whether it is staying afloat financially, or dealing with an illness,you have managed to overcome, and you will this time, too. So my advice here is that instead of fearing the process, rather honour the struggle we are all facing, and decide who you are going to end up being through this struggle.
That brings us to the third thing we all fear and is what we call “Outcome Pain” or “I am afraid of what is on the other side of all of this”. What will be the end result?
So what do most people tend to do here? They go to worst case scenario and the start going to levels of catastrophe.
In their minds they go to total ruin and death. Everyone is so afraid right now because their fear is about the ultimate dreadful outcome – death or ruin. “I am either going to die, or my business and my career is ruined”.
Once again, I am sure that in the past we have all had those moments where we believed we were either not going to be able to live through what was happening, or be totally ruined. Yet here we still are today going probably stronger than we ever were before. Are you willing to make the decision right now that you are going to engage and beat this pandemic? And if the worst were to happen, and you were not able to beat it, at least you will know that you did everything possible to beat it? What more can you be asked to do?
Ask yourself the question: "In what way should I engage here to do the absolute best that I can in this situation?"
Where many others are disengaging and not honouring the struggle, you have the ability to rise above and do the opposite. Go to sleep each night and say honestly, "In this current reality, I am gave my best today with what I had at my disposal, instead of just hiding and waiting."
These are really the three things we fear:
- We are afraid of loss
- We are afraid of hardship
- And we are afraid that things will not turn out well.
We all fear things on some level and that’s ok. It’s how we ultimately decide individually to handle these fears which will end up writing our stories in this chapter of the book.